As I posted last week, Hubby and I were expecting baby number 3…until we found out the baby’s heart had stopped beating at about 10 weeks.
It was a regular monthly appointment. We saw the doctor at 7 weeks and saw/heard a heartbeat. We carried on with our lives…making plans for what was to come. I was supposed to be 11 weeks along. But no little heart beat could be seen.
My stomach dropped. I was in shock. Then came the tears. That was a Friday afternoon. My doctor suggested a D&C to remove the fetus. So the following Tuesday, two days before my 30th birthday, I went to the hospital.
I’ve had two healthy, normal, run-of-the-mill pregnancies and now this.
There really isn’t any way to prepare for a miscarriage…and why would you? And while there are certain similarities to losing a loved one, it is still a unique and strange experience. I mean, you start planning and thinking of names and thinking of how to arrange furniture…and then without you knowing, or doing anything, all that is taken away.
I do believe that miscarriage happens for a reason. Nature’s way of taking care of the universe. And while I don’t have any anger, I think I’ll always have sadness.
They say miscarriage is very common. It is. We just don’t talk about it. And for good reason. If you have to experience it, you don’t really want to talk about it. It is a subject full of questions with no answers. It is death, unexplained.
And life still goes on.